A refreshing breath of cool air caressed my face as Andrew and I peered out of the open second story window into the gathering night. Above, inky darkness had penetrated the purple of dusk. Below, yellow lights winked cheerily above the neighbor's backyard patio. The traffic signal at Foothill and Newport cycled from red to green, and the flow of traffic on the street hummed by in sync. It was beautiful, but Andrew's eyes glittered darkly in his pale face with fear.
From his perch, one hand clenching the black leather chair back for support as he stood stiffly on its seat, the other waving at the patio cover with concern, "There's a bridge down there with a loud troll under it!"
He continued quietly, "There are really really loud trolls all around! They are singing really loud songs! There are loud animals all around!"
I rested my hand on his shoulder, but he wasn't reassured. His eyes darted to and away from mine, back into the dark. "There are really really loud goats outside."
In response, the lights of the city twinkled impartially amidst their own yellow sea-air glow. The breeze blew a little more stiffly, and I folded Andrew into my arms with an aching heart.
How hard to watch a child develop fear. Why fear anything? He is safe and provided for, and there certainly are neither trolls or harmful animals outside our windows. Yet, his feeling re-kindled in my own heart a little tendril of the same creeping doubt. I, too, have doubts about my own safety -- long forgotten, and buried by age and habit. Because it's true that the world is a disturbing place. It is full of both evil and sorrow, and the possibilities of evil and sorrow are never far away.
No, we are not surrounded by loud goats or trolls. There are no animals singing loud songs against us. But maybe old stories about trolls under bridges, big bad wolves, and doomed gingerbread boys full of jolly hubris hint at archetypes our older eyes cease to see. After all, we and those we love will all die some day. Childhood is not the only thing that's temporary: all of this is temporary. We must own its brevity if we are to live it truthfully.
As I struggled with how to help Andrew process his fear, I found myself taking the easy road. I addressed the false symbols, and not the reality. I taught him to say, "Go away, goat! Go away, troll! Never come back!" His frowns turned to smiles as we said it together. I assured him that Mama and Dada and Grandpa and Grandma would keep him safe, always, from these unwanted visitors. I didn't mention the deeper realities I sensed he was connecting with.
The only solution to those fears is Jesus. Later, as he lay in bed, I prayed for him that Jesus would keep all those we know and love safe. It sounds cliche, but it really is the most fundamental reality of existence. His cross stands between us and the dark night. The trolls we've tried so hard to forget will climb through that window someday, and we will either embrace them in the light of hope, or we will flee with them at last in terror.
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison
Kyrie eleison
Friday, September 15, 2017
Andrewisms at 24.x Months
Libby and I are really enjoying conversations with Andrew. I wanted to record a few of his charming mis-pronunciations.
Dough-dote: doughnut. This evolved from dote, which was his first pronunciation of doughnut. Emphasis can be on either syllable, but usually the second.
Maca-moni: macaroni or pepperoni, depending on the context. I think the pepperoni one was a little bit of laziness. Also called "red, hot meat." Emphasis on 3rd syllable.
Wessah: Yes, sir: from Baa Baa Black Sheep. Said with sing-song bouncy enthusiasm. WESS-sah, WESS-sah!
Uck-Truck: Excavator. The most exciting of all heavy construction vehicles. "Digs a-deepest holes a-you have evah seen!"
Koawawa: Koala. Somewhere he has seen a video of koalas climbing a ladder, or pretends he has. Libby and I have no memory of this video, and he says he saw it on Dada's phone.
Fighta-fighta: A temporary mispronunciation of fire-fighter. Only lasted a few days. Fighta has a strong dipthong and is essentially three syllables.
Fiya: Fire. Two syllables. Fiya trucks are a very common topic of conversation. For example: "Dada and Indyoo and Mama and Danyel Tig-ah go to fiya dashun an' see weely weely woud fiya-truck!" or in bed at night: "Want dory 'bout Dada and Mama and Indyoo go to fiya dashun an see weely big RED fiya truck!"
Ixe Cweam: Ice cream but ice is aye-ks.
We'll keep adding stuff as it occurs to us.
Dough-dote: doughnut. This evolved from dote, which was his first pronunciation of doughnut. Emphasis can be on either syllable, but usually the second.
Maca-moni: macaroni or pepperoni, depending on the context. I think the pepperoni one was a little bit of laziness. Also called "red, hot meat." Emphasis on 3rd syllable.
Wessah: Yes, sir: from Baa Baa Black Sheep. Said with sing-song bouncy enthusiasm. WESS-sah, WESS-sah!
Uck-Truck: Excavator. The most exciting of all heavy construction vehicles. "Digs a-deepest holes a-you have evah seen!"
Koawawa: Koala. Somewhere he has seen a video of koalas climbing a ladder, or pretends he has. Libby and I have no memory of this video, and he says he saw it on Dada's phone.
Fighta-fighta: A temporary mispronunciation of fire-fighter. Only lasted a few days. Fighta has a strong dipthong and is essentially three syllables.
Fiya: Fire. Two syllables. Fiya trucks are a very common topic of conversation. For example: "Dada and Indyoo and Mama and Danyel Tig-ah go to fiya dashun an' see weely weely woud fiya-truck!" or in bed at night: "Want dory 'bout Dada and Mama and Indyoo go to fiya dashun an see weely big RED fiya truck!"
Ixe Cweam: Ice cream but ice is aye-ks.
We'll keep adding stuff as it occurs to us.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Mammoth Trip, October 2016
NBB: Found this incomplete from last Fall. Sketched in details from the latter half of the trip. September 2017.
NB: Libby and I meant to write in the book before we left the cabin, but we forgot in the hustle and bustle of closing the cabin. Here's what we should have written:
October 10, 2016
Libby, Andrew, and I came up to close on the last day of September and left on Monday the 10th of October. This is our longest trip together at the cabin, and the time felt expansive and very restful (in general).
We left So Cal at 8:00 pm, which is by far the latest we've ever left, in order to drive while Andrew was sleeping. We anticipated arriving in the frigid cold after 2:00 am, and we did, in fact, arrive around 2:30 in the morning. Thankfully, it was surprisingly warm (upper 40s) when we arrived, and Andrew transferred smoothly into both warm pajamas and the cabin.
The next day we settled in and waited for Phillip, Alysha and Emma to join us. We went shopping in town and took a walk around the lake. They arrived in the evening. Andrew had AMS that night, and he and I spent three hours sleeping (well, he was sleeping) in our car down in town. We're worried about what that means for future trips.
The next day we went to Bodie, and Emma and Andrew napped nicely on the way there. We did the normal meandering around town after a picnic in the picnic area where a Golden Eagle was circling the nearby hills. Andrew got sufficiently dirty playing on the ground. On the way back, after being awoken against our wills by construction along Mono Lake, we stopped by the Mono Cone and then took the kids to the park around the corner. Andrew slept well that night, though Emma struggled.
We had enjoyed above average temperatures at Bodie and Lee Vining, but the next day would see a change of weather. A cold front howled in with cold wind and sent the temperature dropping from the mid-40s around mid-day while we were on a hike at Emerald Lake. We retreated to the cabin and gathered around the lovely fire. That night, we watched Emma for a little while so Phillip and Alysha could celebrate their anniversary, and I excitedly pointed out snow flurries to them while Libby showered. I don't think they appreciated the wonder of the scene.
The next day we visited the Cast-Off together before the Mootharts headed south.
Our primary entertainment on our days alone was what we called nap hikes. Every day around 11:00, we'd go for a long walk while Andrew slept in his carrier. We went up to Hart Lake (amidst sun and snow flurries), Skelton Lake, and TJ and Barret from the rear of the cabin twice. We also visited Lundy Lake one day to peep the leaves (which were stunning around the waterfall above the beaver dams).
We frankly reveled in the cool and seasonable days. It slowly warmed into the low 50s as the week went on. The only drawback was that Andrew slept very poorly most days. We don't know if it was teething, or the cold, or a new place, or the altitude, but Libby had many rough nights.
Gabe and Timothy came up for the later half of the week, and we enjoyed unseasonably warm temperatures with them. It's always hard to imagine closing the cabin for the winter when the days are sunny and warm.
The biggest trip we took together was to Devil's Postpile. The main parking lot was closed, so we ended up taking the long walk from the Rainbow Falls trailhead, if I remember correctly. There are many poorly signed intersecting trails, so we ended up taking a longer route back. Andrew really fussed on this hike, and we ended up transferring the Ergo with him in it to Libby. Naturally, that calmed him.
We also explored the Mammoth Consolidated Mine area together, and Timothy chased off all the bad guys.
This was, if I remember correctly, the longest trip to the cabin we've ever taken as a family. We were there over two weekends, and so, barring the difficulty with sleep, it was a great opportunity to acclimate and enjoy.
NB: Libby and I meant to write in the book before we left the cabin, but we forgot in the hustle and bustle of closing the cabin. Here's what we should have written:
October 10, 2016
Libby, Andrew, and I came up to close on the last day of September and left on Monday the 10th of October. This is our longest trip together at the cabin, and the time felt expansive and very restful (in general).
We left So Cal at 8:00 pm, which is by far the latest we've ever left, in order to drive while Andrew was sleeping. We anticipated arriving in the frigid cold after 2:00 am, and we did, in fact, arrive around 2:30 in the morning. Thankfully, it was surprisingly warm (upper 40s) when we arrived, and Andrew transferred smoothly into both warm pajamas and the cabin.
The next day we settled in and waited for Phillip, Alysha and Emma to join us. We went shopping in town and took a walk around the lake. They arrived in the evening. Andrew had AMS that night, and he and I spent three hours sleeping (well, he was sleeping) in our car down in town. We're worried about what that means for future trips.
The next day we went to Bodie, and Emma and Andrew napped nicely on the way there. We did the normal meandering around town after a picnic in the picnic area where a Golden Eagle was circling the nearby hills. Andrew got sufficiently dirty playing on the ground. On the way back, after being awoken against our wills by construction along Mono Lake, we stopped by the Mono Cone and then took the kids to the park around the corner. Andrew slept well that night, though Emma struggled.
We had enjoyed above average temperatures at Bodie and Lee Vining, but the next day would see a change of weather. A cold front howled in with cold wind and sent the temperature dropping from the mid-40s around mid-day while we were on a hike at Emerald Lake. We retreated to the cabin and gathered around the lovely fire. That night, we watched Emma for a little while so Phillip and Alysha could celebrate their anniversary, and I excitedly pointed out snow flurries to them while Libby showered. I don't think they appreciated the wonder of the scene.
The next day we visited the Cast-Off together before the Mootharts headed south.
Our primary entertainment on our days alone was what we called nap hikes. Every day around 11:00, we'd go for a long walk while Andrew slept in his carrier. We went up to Hart Lake (amidst sun and snow flurries), Skelton Lake, and TJ and Barret from the rear of the cabin twice. We also visited Lundy Lake one day to peep the leaves (which were stunning around the waterfall above the beaver dams).
We frankly reveled in the cool and seasonable days. It slowly warmed into the low 50s as the week went on. The only drawback was that Andrew slept very poorly most days. We don't know if it was teething, or the cold, or a new place, or the altitude, but Libby had many rough nights.
Gabe and Timothy came up for the later half of the week, and we enjoyed unseasonably warm temperatures with them. It's always hard to imagine closing the cabin for the winter when the days are sunny and warm.
The biggest trip we took together was to Devil's Postpile. The main parking lot was closed, so we ended up taking the long walk from the Rainbow Falls trailhead, if I remember correctly. There are many poorly signed intersecting trails, so we ended up taking a longer route back. Andrew really fussed on this hike, and we ended up transferring the Ergo with him in it to Libby. Naturally, that calmed him.
We also explored the Mammoth Consolidated Mine area together, and Timothy chased off all the bad guys.
This was, if I remember correctly, the longest trip to the cabin we've ever taken as a family. We were there over two weekends, and so, barring the difficulty with sleep, it was a great opportunity to acclimate and enjoy.
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