Statement by NFL Executive Vice President Joe Browne regarding the Super Bowl halftime show:

"We were extremely disappointed by elements of the MTV-produced Halftime show. They were totally inconsistent with assurances our office was given about the show. It's unlikely that MTV will produce another Super Bowl halftime."

Now this is good news. Although the Super Bowl itself was entertaining, the half-time show was not. In fact, I don't think I was entertained at all for the entire 12 rushed minutes of horrendous music and hideous dancing and costumes. Please, please, please, don't subject us to this again, halftime people! The finale, the disgusting disrobing of Janet Jackson, truly fit the show's degenerate feel. Kid Rock's performance that desecrated the flag (although I suspect that was not his intention), the feminine male dancers, the ugly hip-hop music performed by P-Diddy and Nelly, all of it was a summation of our culture's widest spread evils. Bah humbug!

Football, on the other hand, is hardly evil or dark and twisted. It's a wonderful intelligent game. It reminds me of chess. Brilliant minds think out complicated strategies consisting of different plays and emphasis that result in actions on the field. The players train to fulfill their part as best they can, and then implement the strategies, hopefully with the guts to rise above the limitations of their humanity through gigantic efforts of soul. It really wants me to study it now, because watching the different defensive formations and movements and how the offense responds to and causes them is very interesting. And the fundamental question is so basic: how do you get the ball to the other end of the field while staying within the parameters of how to play set out by the rule book? But there's a lot of humanity involved in fulfilling that role, a lot of minds and bodies and hard work, both on and off the field. I think that our ability to work on hard on accomplishing goals like this is one of America's strengths, if we can persevere, and so I see good reasons to hope on, I guess, and maybe, like the game, the wickedness and depravity of our nation is just the half-time show in our game of success.