Embrace Our Commonality

The year? Nineteen thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine.

The twin towers were still standing in New York. The U.N. declared "The Year of Older Persons." The human population surpassed six billions. War raged in Kosovo, and Bill Clinton was the president of the United States.

But, perhaps the most wildly improbably important event of all was the advent of a single motion picture. No, I don't mean that flop of a flick continuing (after a long, long time) the Star Wars franchise. I mean a tale of good, evil, misunderstanding, and peace. I mean Pokemon: The First Movie.

Rest assured that I and a good friend were there the night that it opened. Unlike many others my age, I made a point of not missing this movie in the theaters. How could I? A little yellow mouse with bizarre electric powers of appealling cuteness was calling me. Ladies and gentlemen, I was not able to turn a deaf ear to his siren cheep. Besides, if you showed up opening night, you got a free commemorative Pokemon card!

I admit that at the time I was disappointed in the film. Last night I gave myself the opportunity to reappraise my impression. This review is the conclusion of that reappraisal.

Pokemon really probably should never have existed. It's kind of fun to watch, sometimes, and I played the Gameboy game, but it really did only exist to create marketing opportunities, which isn't the kind of art that I would choose for my children.

Nevertheless, its authors made a good go of it. The TV show was consistently entertaining, mostly because it did not take itself very seriously. The flaw of the movie is that it does take itself completely seriously.

First, if you ever, for whatever unimaginable reason, watch the movie on DVD, skip, skip, skip!, "Pikachu's Vacation." It is boring, and it is rediculous.

Second, the movie is tolerable. It has one moment that is laugh out loud hilarious involving psyduck, and it even manages to be somewhat moving in the midst of slamming you over the head with a self-contradictory non-violent message. It condemns violence. Violently. In a world that exists so that Pokemon can fight each other. It asks simple questions (that have been asked in better ways before) to which the answer is Jesus, and almost gets it. To which I say, "Hurrah!"

However, instead of renting this movie, buying this movie, or otherwise patronizing it, read your Bible. You'll be the better for it.

Lastly, perhaps the most powerful voice against this movie is its cover.

Coming next week: a review of Pokemon: The Movie 2000.