All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Ovid

Inspired by a revisitation of Midsummer's Night Dream, I am now revisiting Ovid's Metamorphoses. Ovid's a grand old chap, his poems are bawdy yet bright, and he has little to no faith in anything substantial. Instead he has faith in the transitory nature of reality. Pretty quick fellow, really.

Nonetheless, I have (despite his concerted efforts) learned something about this world's substance in my re-reading of the classic.

1) Everything used to be white. It has sinced changed color either because, a) the gods' whims (Raven and Crow) or b) blood (Mulberry Tree berries).

2) Is it confusing or enigmatic? Enter the polytheistic Freudian school of metaphysical critical studies, it is the way it is because the divine lusts carnally after mortals. Don't question it, it's not a good idea.

3) Run out of humans? No problem! Humans grow easily from a mixture of fire, water and earth. They can be seeded in a number of different ways, but bones is a pretty good one. Oh, and when you form them all fully armed, disarm them immediately.

4) Beautiful young blond boys are not fair game to steal. Especially if the boy happens to be a young god; and especially if that young god is Bacchus.

5) Bacchus is like Elvis or the Beatles, but don't make fun of him, assault him, dishonor him or even be near him when he's with his groupies. His female cohorts will tear you limb from limb.

6) You have a right to really miss those happy golden years.

Any other Ovidian basics for life?