Wow! I got another question in my e-mail box just tonight, so I'll answer it before I go to bed. I don't like to keep anybody waiting.

Juno writes:

If you had ONE WISH, what would it be? To be pampered? To experience ultimate relaxation? For Jenna Rink, played by Jennifer Garner in the upcoming release "13 Going on 30", it's the chance at being pretty and popular. Sign up today for Juno MegaMail for a chance to make your wish come true!

Dear Juno MegaMail,

First off, Juno, I just want to compliment you on your rare name. Not many girls are named after the wife of Zeus now-a-days, since paganism has lost its powerful grip on our culture. I'm edified to see that your parents haven't forgotten their hellene roots, and are paying tribute to the goddess of the hearth.

Now I'll address your questions, one at a time.

What would be my one wish?
Wow! I'm a little uncomfortable answering questions that are about me, with me being here to help you and all. Seriously, though, if I had one wish it would be to see Christ. Either that or to be Holy, so that I might see Him. I guess just asking for that without the work is sort of evil, though. On a less serious note, though, I'd sure like a twinky!

I don't really want to be pampered, although this "ultimate relaxation idea" sounds interesting. Man... ultimate relaxation. I'm seeing rows of corpses at a resort or something like that. Nobody's moving. Plastic smiles and pasty white faces. Hmm... although it does sound enticing I think I'll pass on that for now.

And thanks, Juno, for the valuable info on this dangerous character, Jenna Rink. I'll be sure to be looking out for her and for her by her alias, Jennifer Garner. I'm sorry to hear that she wants to be pretty and popular. Those are very unnatural things for someone to want, and I hope that she's seeing a doctor about it.

Finally, Juno Mega-Mail, thanks for the offer, but I already have a girlfriend, so I'll be passing it up.

-Jonathan